The Lego Habit

Just a quick one.

I know that logic fails me sometimes but this seemed noteworthy.

I was saying yesterday, for reasons that are best left, that I would not develop a drug habit, with the associated criminality to feed it, say burglary, because I don’t do drugs, (apart from obviously, caffeine), but I might feed a Lego habit.

Obviously I’d feel guilty, but I imagine that if I fell into the life of a hardcore Lego user, I have to feed the habit at least once a day with new bricks, and this would be terrible strain on my finances, which would mean that I would have find the habit with dark nefarious activities that paid well; “I’m sorry to rob you, man, but I got a habit to feed, a Lego habit.  Gimme all yer money.”  I’d probably have to graduate to knocking over garages, because people don’t carry that much cash any more, and for really big sets I’m afraid it would have to be poorly maintained security van with scowling men who get paid minimum wage to risk their necks for filthy moohlah.

I’m become a hardened criminal with a huge stash of Lego in a lock up somewhere, spending lonely nights building the latest Star Wars Giant Model, or taking pictures of my minifigs and posting them on the internet anonymously to show other hardcore Lego criminals that I’m doing better than them.

I’d probably get caught sooner or later as new forensic techniques trace minute quantities of Lego plastic adhering to my skin get left at the scenes of crimes.  They trace my Lego DNA, made of Duplo (as @iskandarv once did at our house in an idle moment, until then we didn’t think it was possible to build a double helix out of Lego, the man is a genius), and bang me up in isolation in case I brick the other prisoners with improvised Lego weapons…

You get the idea.

#lovelyGF pointed out that I could get banged up for the lesser crime of obtaining Lego by stealing it directly from shops.

That hadn’t actually occurred to me.

STEALING from a SHOP?  Yurg, no thanks, someone might see.  I wouldn’t be able to shop there again!  I might get barred from shoe shops!

Maybe I’ll just get the boys to buy me some for Christmas.

I’ve cooled on a life of crime.

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